5.15.2006

THE COOL LIST

JUNE 2006

Bands


Arctic Monkeys
http://www.arcticmonkeys.com/
Yes, they've been hyped to shit, but they back it up with their single I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor. The rest of the album, Whatever People Say I Was, That's What I'm Not, is also pretty great.

Danielson
http://www.danielson.info/
Their new album, Ships, is flat-out fantastic. Picture Neutral Milk Hotel Meets the Flaming Lips meets the Polyphonic Spree meets Daniel Johnston, but better. Awesome.



Pretty Flowers
http://prettyflowers.org/
You don't know them now but you will soon. Picture the Go Team but more punk with better songs or what Elastica could have been had they stuck around. Smart, funny indie-garage-punk with super-energetic live shows and videos that are funny as shit. (see events.)


Movies

Brick
http://brickmovie.net/
Dark, sexy, twisting tale about murder, drugs and high school angst. The ultra low budget doesn't diminish the plot one bit, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is incredible as the lead.



Brothers of the Head
http://www.hanwayfilms.com/
A fake documentary about conjoined twins who start a successful punk/glam band in London in the 70's. The film is surprisingly deep and emotional, and the music is great.

Giuliani Time
http://www.giulianitime.com/
After 9/11, everyone thinks of Rudolph Giulani as a hero. But beforehand, he was nothing but a bully and a joke. This documentary shows what a dick he was to New York artists, bar and club owners, minorities, the poor and the homeless.


Events

June 3: Wolfmother @Webster Hall, New York City
www.websterhall.com/
Their single "Woman" is, frankly, pretty weak and generic, but the rest of their self-titled LP is excellent. Sabbath and Zep for the new millenium.

June 13: Sonic Youth, June 13 @CBGB, New York City
www.cbgb.com
The masters of noise are back on tour, kicking it off at the smallish CBGB. Probably sold out by now, but if you can score tickets this show is not to be missed.



June 17: Man in Gray, Pretty Flowers, Dead Betties, @Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn
www.goodbye-blue-monday.com
Man in Gray is a crazy-cool punk band with a ridiculous frontwoman out of the Karen O mold. Pretty Flowers (see above) are the next "it" band. Dead Betties play hard and fast thrash and punk that is surprisingly tuneful. Overall a terrific bill.


Blogs

Brooklyn Vegan
http://www.brooklynvegan.com/
Super-hip site for new music and events.

eBaum's World
http://ebaumsworld.com/
If you're bored with YouTube and have some time to kill, the videos here are funny and disgusting in equal measure.

Tofu Hut
http://tofuhut.blogspot.com/
A great, comprehensive site for music news, info, mp3s and links.


Television


Conan O'Brien, weeknights at 12:30, NBC
http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/
I don't know if I'm getting dumber or Conan's getting funnier, but his shows lately have been must-see. Catch the re-runs of his Finland and Chicago episodes if you can.

Veronica Mars, Tuesdays at 9, UPN
http://www.upn.com/shows/veronica_mars/
If you already watch this show, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, you're missing out on the smartest, most intriguing show there is.

Wonder Showzen, Fridays at 9:30, MTV2
http://www.mtv2.com/#wondershowzen
The Muppet Show or Sesame Street written by a bunch of sick fucks. There's really nothing funnier anywhere.


Random

Berlin
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/destinations/europe/germany/berlin/
The coolest city on the planet. What New York was like in the 70's but better. Cheap, dirty, and funky. The clubs are incredible, and the art is out of this world. Go before it gets gentrified out of existence.

Peanut Butter Captain Crunch
http://www.capncrunch.com/
This is like crack with milk.



Vice Magazine, Cartoon Issue
http://www.viceland.com/
Vice does it again, with an impressive series of funny, dirty and sick comix.


THE NOT COOL LIST

JUNE 2006

Bands

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
http://www.clapyourhandssayyeah.com/
Overrated. Just say no.




















Fall Out Boy
http://www.falloutboyrock.com/
Am I missing something? How are they popular? Isn't emo over? Oh, wait, their fans are all kids. Okay.

The Strokes
http://www.thestrokes.com/
What happened? First album was great. Second was okay. Latest is a bust. Kind of like the Matrix movies. Plus, their guitarist (below) now thinks he's Axl Rose.



Movies



An American Haunting, See No Evil, Silent Hill, and all the other "scary" movies that aren't
http://www.welcometosilenthill.com
Dear Hollywood, come up with some truly scary shit or move on. How about bringing back that trend from the 80's where everyone switched identies? (Remember Vice Versa? Like Father, Like Son? 18 Again? Dream a Little Dream? ) Now that would be scary.

Art School Confidential
http://www.sonyclassics.com/artschoolconfidential/
A piece of garbage, start to finish. Makes Ghost World, which wasn't all that great either, look like Citizen Kane.

The Break-Up
http://www.thebreakupmovie.net/
Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston play a couple breaking up. First of all, who gives a shit? Secondly, it's what's going to happen anyway, so save the ten bucks and just read the tabloids.


Events

June 3: Snow Patrol, Roseland, New York City
http://www.roselandballroom.com/
Like a weaker, wussier Coldplay. Save the 26 bucks.

June 10: Dungen, Irving Plaza, New York City
http://www.irvingplaza.com/
You think they're going to be all hard and weird and then you find out the band is actually the singer's last name. Really pretty boring.

June 11: Rob Thomas and Jewel, PNC Bank Arts Center, Holmdel
http://www.pncbankartscenter.com/
'Nuff said.


Blogs


Blogs for Bush
http://www.blogsforbush.com/
Pretty much self-evident. The funniest is one of their sponsors hawking t-shirts with pictures of Reagan on them that say "Clever Conservative," maybe the greatest oxymoron there ever was.

The Drud
ge Report
http://www.thedrudgereport.com
Like the New York Post but worse, nothing but rumor, conjecture and artificial dirt spewed by a nasty-ass piece of crap.



Stuff on My Cat
http://www.stuffonmycat.com/
I actually think this blog is pretty funny but I feel bad for some of the cats.


Television


American Idol
http://www.americanidol.com/
The first few weeks are fun in a rubbernecking kind of way, watching the losers get weeded out. But then when it gets winnowed to a few, none of whom are that interesting vocally or emotionally, who gives a shit? Are you a 14 year old girl?


American Inventor
http://abc.go.com/primetime/americaninventor/
The worst show ever made. Just a bunch of blabbering, blubbering idiots and their dumbshit inventions. So you spent all your money on something nobody wants and now you're broke? Suck it up.

Deal or No Deal
http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/
Finally, a game show for retards. You literally have to know nothing and can make bank. And Howie Mandell is even more annoying than Regis.



Random

Britney Spearswww.britneyspears.com
Just what the world needs, another baby from this talentless trailer trash. I'm hoping the apocalypse comes before it grows up and does any damage.

The CIA

www.cia.gov
Turns out they're not only secretly videotaping us and reading our e-mails, they're listening to and logging our phone conversations too. Fortunately, they like to bribe people and hire prostitutes for their buddies, so currently they're self-destructing under their own fucking hypocrisy.


Scientologists
www.scientology.org
It's bad enough that they're a bunch of crazy cultists trying to take over the world. But they somehow managed to get Beck. Yes, Beck. You bastards!!!