5.15.2006

THE NOT COOL LIST

JUNE 2006

Bands

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
http://www.clapyourhandssayyeah.com/
Overrated. Just say no.




















Fall Out Boy
http://www.falloutboyrock.com/
Am I missing something? How are they popular? Isn't emo over? Oh, wait, their fans are all kids. Okay.

The Strokes
http://www.thestrokes.com/
What happened? First album was great. Second was okay. Latest is a bust. Kind of like the Matrix movies. Plus, their guitarist (below) now thinks he's Axl Rose.



Movies



An American Haunting, See No Evil, Silent Hill, and all the other "scary" movies that aren't
http://www.welcometosilenthill.com
Dear Hollywood, come up with some truly scary shit or move on. How about bringing back that trend from the 80's where everyone switched identies? (Remember Vice Versa? Like Father, Like Son? 18 Again? Dream a Little Dream? ) Now that would be scary.

Art School Confidential
http://www.sonyclassics.com/artschoolconfidential/
A piece of garbage, start to finish. Makes Ghost World, which wasn't all that great either, look like Citizen Kane.

The Break-Up
http://www.thebreakupmovie.net/
Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston play a couple breaking up. First of all, who gives a shit? Secondly, it's what's going to happen anyway, so save the ten bucks and just read the tabloids.


Events

June 3: Snow Patrol, Roseland, New York City
http://www.roselandballroom.com/
Like a weaker, wussier Coldplay. Save the 26 bucks.

June 10: Dungen, Irving Plaza, New York City
http://www.irvingplaza.com/
You think they're going to be all hard and weird and then you find out the band is actually the singer's last name. Really pretty boring.

June 11: Rob Thomas and Jewel, PNC Bank Arts Center, Holmdel
http://www.pncbankartscenter.com/
'Nuff said.


Blogs


Blogs for Bush
http://www.blogsforbush.com/
Pretty much self-evident. The funniest is one of their sponsors hawking t-shirts with pictures of Reagan on them that say "Clever Conservative," maybe the greatest oxymoron there ever was.

The Drud
ge Report
http://www.thedrudgereport.com
Like the New York Post but worse, nothing but rumor, conjecture and artificial dirt spewed by a nasty-ass piece of crap.



Stuff on My Cat
http://www.stuffonmycat.com/
I actually think this blog is pretty funny but I feel bad for some of the cats.


Television


American Idol
http://www.americanidol.com/
The first few weeks are fun in a rubbernecking kind of way, watching the losers get weeded out. But then when it gets winnowed to a few, none of whom are that interesting vocally or emotionally, who gives a shit? Are you a 14 year old girl?


American Inventor
http://abc.go.com/primetime/americaninventor/
The worst show ever made. Just a bunch of blabbering, blubbering idiots and their dumbshit inventions. So you spent all your money on something nobody wants and now you're broke? Suck it up.

Deal or No Deal
http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/
Finally, a game show for retards. You literally have to know nothing and can make bank. And Howie Mandell is even more annoying than Regis.



Random

Britney Spearswww.britneyspears.com
Just what the world needs, another baby from this talentless trailer trash. I'm hoping the apocalypse comes before it grows up and does any damage.

The CIA

www.cia.gov
Turns out they're not only secretly videotaping us and reading our e-mails, they're listening to and logging our phone conversations too. Fortunately, they like to bribe people and hire prostitutes for their buddies, so currently they're self-destructing under their own fucking hypocrisy.


Scientologists
www.scientology.org
It's bad enough that they're a bunch of crazy cultists trying to take over the world. But they somehow managed to get Beck. Yes, Beck. You bastards!!!


5 Comments:

At 5:56 PM, Blogger More Dynamics said...

Strokes: Agreed.
Scientogolists: Agreed.
American Idol: Agreed.

You've got a pretty funny blog going!

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger More Dynamics said...

"Scientogolists"

ohhhh boy, i'm having a tough day.

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a douche, Russ. The only positive comments you can get about your pathetic band are the ones you post yourself or get from what must me a very, very small circle of friends.

Keep up the group wank, fellas.

 
At 5:45 PM, Anonymous moi said...

We can't all be like you with your many, many friends, who must be so happy and secure that he would have no need to post bitchy comments about strangers, and so busy he would have no time to continually post said bitchy comments.

 
At 6:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wanking is fun

 

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